So, recently our graduate program director stepped down from his position. He told me why (I had a meeting with him that same day and he asked if I knew the number to my office because he needed to call to say he quit). He explained how the Department Chair was a total bitch to him and had reamed him out for not sending an email back immediately.

I was a bit shaken because he’s my thesis committee adviser, so if he leaves and drops the ball, I’m fucked. He reassured me everything would be fine… so I was feeling better.

But, on Wednesday when I walked into work, my uber boss (who is a scary old lady who gets REALLY angry at people and is the Graduate Program Director for the whole of the University) yelled “SHOW HER THE HEADLINE” and slammed the school newspaper down in front of me.

The headline said

Director steps down due to supervisor’s ‘abuse’ and ‘incompetence’

Like, omg. I was like HOLY SHIT IN A BASKET.

So, I read the article and it had emails between the ex-program director and the department chair. My boss started telling me how it was such a low thing for him to do, to go and create drama with the newspaper like that. Saying how he probably had a new job lined up and how he was an arrogant asshole. I tried to say things like, “well, we’re not sure he did that” or “why would he go and do that?” to try and deflect them, but it didn’t work, so in the end I shut up.

I was sitting all the time thinking how fucking uncomfortable this was. 

To cap it all off, I had a meeting later that day, with the professor in question. First thing he asked me was “did you go to work today?” I told him I did, and then I told him that they thought he’d done it to get attention…

He was like, WAIT WHAT? I was like uh, yeah.. they think you shared the emails.

He told me it was a FOIA request (Freedom of Information Act) and someone had gotten wind of his decision and submitted a request for the emails. It really made him look bad. 

He’s about my age, and is a fucking genius. 

As we walked over to the coffee shop, we passed by my boss. I was like fuck shit bollocks crap shit fuck.

But, anyway, he also told me that the chair has said some really inappropriate things to him. Like, she knows he’s gay, but said “You’re such a stallion. You need to be fixed” …

WHAT THE FUCK? 

And generally harassing him (and one of my other professors who she says some really passive aggressive things to and who already stepped down pretty much as soon as this chair got there).

So, yesterday I go into work.

Silence.

My uber-scary-boss doesn’t say a hello, good morning, how are you… not a word. My immediate boss, neither. She looks pissed. I think they saw me with him and assumed I was crossing enemy lines or telling him things (which I was, but for crimminy sake he’s my thesis adviser, I NEED to talk to him!)

So. I talked to the secretary who sits out front with me all day.

I felt so caught in the middle and so upset at the stupid women in the office. I emailed the prof yesterday and said I felt bad for telling him how the women in the office acted, but I thought he should know that was how they were perceiving it, since maybe others were too. I said because I supported him, they office was like a tomb, but I was glad I did because I thought it was the right thing to do. I said I could get in trouble for emailing him, but I didn’t care because what the chair did was wrong and I wouldn’t support it.

He emailed me back last night but I’ve been too … anxious to read it (I have severe social anxiety and things like this make me wanna puke)…

I just don’t know if I did all the right things or what… I feel bad for him, for having to put up with the shit from the chair and then being crucified by the newspaper like this…

but I need my job and the women are vultures and now I know their true character…

ugh. I feel in such a weird place, especially since maybe sending the email was a bad thing…