I am relearning my languages (while simultaneously attempting to learn other languages)..
It’s… so… confusing to me really. Rromanes was never a written language for me…
No one ever taught me grammar rules, correct pronunciation (only whatever way my family spoke it), no one taught me spelling..
so is it khere or čhere? Do I fuljav or mukha-man tele?
gijom khere, važdo sy me somas khino
me dželem čhere kaj semas xičeno
Does it really matter? Does it make me less Romani if I can’t spell or use good grammar because I’ve never been taught how to write the language?
so avava kana phurija?
kon me java, sy java baro?
I’ve had several people tell me lately that I’m pushing them away because I use Romani here and on Facebook. Apparently, I shouldn’t do that because it’s rude … because they can’t understand me therefore I can’t speak it).
One person said if google translate offered Romani, then it would be okay. Translating it one word at a time is just “too difficult”…
So, not only do I have to acquiesce to white people’s ideas of ‘gypsy’ and ‘Rroma’, I also have to only speak English or another “easily translatable” language.
That makes me want to speak in my most obscure dialect:
vaso to jej sy ustrauktu?
But what use is that? I don’t know anyone else who can translate this either, except me and my relatives, most of whom don’t have computers.
“Your romani must be coming along well,” they said. “I see you practicing all the time”.
It’s my language.
I was fluent as a child (orally, it was never a written language for me until now), but since I don’t disclose my heritage until I know someone really well—it’s a problem.
I guess I “came out” as gypsy and now it’s some huge deal. I’m an oddity, a person not to be trusted… if I write in my language I’m writing about people. Saying things that are divisive and untrue.
To be honest, I am pretty hurt right now.
mange na jača niso tuke te dau.