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Over the past few months here on Tumblr, I have received many angry and hateful anonymous asks. They have made me feel very upset and angry—and I’m not sure that posting and answering every one is the way to go—for myself or my followers. So, I decided to write this page. That way there’s somewhere to direct people and it’s all out in the open.

I am Roma. My people are most commonly called “Gypsy” because they were believed to have emerged out of Egypt. My paternal grandmother was Gurbet Romani and my paternal grandfather was Lotfitka Roma, which makes my father full-blood Romani. My mother, however, was non-Roma (I believe she came from Domari family in Scotland, around Edinburgh) and because of my parents’ marriage, we were largely shunned by the kumpania (clan, tribe).

The word ‘Gypsy’ has been one that has affected my life in many negative ways; it has been leveled against me in order to shun and oppress me. It has been used to physically hurt me; it has been used to accuse me. It is a word I have intense dislike for. However, I think that it’s a word we should seek to redefine and not attempt to make taboo. In the US the word is heavily romanticized and appropriated, while in Europe the word still contains racist and violent overtones with pogroms happening regularly in Romani ghettos.

In the past, I wanted to spend all my time trying to convince people that the romantic stereotype was wrong; that we should move forwards and redefine things. But, I have quickly come to realize that something like that will never happen—or at least, it’s going to take many, many years and it won’t be simply because a nobody like me got angry a few times.

Every day now, I have to bite my tongue about things I see here—the romanticized and misguided imagery tagged with gypsy; the hateful messages I still receive in my ask; the distorted reports in the media; and disgusting ‘shows’ like “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”. It all makes me hurt inside—but I know that I have to bear silent witness to it all. 

However, the idea that “it’s the way the world is so suck it up” is erroneous. That’s what people said back when segregation was all the rage, or placing Native Americans in reservations—hey it’s just what is. 

It’s up to all of us. It just takes an extra minute to rethink a tag, or repost a photograph… that’s all.

To me the word Gypsy is indicative of an ethnic group. Period. I know that to others it has become ingrained as a stereotype that will probably never change. I think by more people becoming aware of the reality and questioning “is this ok?” … it begins to get the message out there. By questioning, you look for answers, and by looking for answers, you find the truth~

I AM a Gypsy; and I AM proud of that.